Lenten Day Thirty-four: Terri Cole-Whittaker

This is another of my favorite quotations.  It actually is the title of a book that I once saw on the shelf at a bookstore.  I didn’t buy or read the book, though, because the title says it all.  However, if you’d like more information about the book, it’s available on Amazon.  😊

This quotation does not reflect, however, the way I was raised.  In my family, what the neighbors thought was of prime importance.  As I’ve matured, I have realized that that question is filled with power, control, and also fear.  It isn’t so much what will the neighbors think of the child, but what will the neighbors think of the parent? 

One of the great blessings of aging is letting that question go.  As e.e. cummings wrote, “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”  He’s a great example.  He didn’t even use capital letters or proper punctuation!  While I sometimes hear echoes of neighbors’ opinions in the old records of my mind, most of the time I’m not too concerned about it.  I do not have the power to control others’ thoughts and opinions, and I do not need another’s stamp of validity to be who I was created to be.  Neither do you.

I think of all the great spiritual leaders who let go what others thought about them.  How could they have carried on their ministries if they had been worried or influenced by the opinions of others?  How could I, if I had worried about what others thought of ordained female ministers?  Or choosing early retirement?  Or spending my time writing?  Even Jesus was ridiculed by his own townspeople, his own siblings, and what they thought of him did not deter him.  What people thought about Martin Luther King, Desmond Tutu, and a host of others did not discourage them from having the courage to grow up and become who they really were.

Most likely, none of us will ever need the kind of courage and resilience that Christ, King, Tutu, and other spiritual leaders had to acquire, but we each have our own paths, our own gifts, our own personalities, our own dreams.  We are created to be unique, we are loved as we are, and giving time and attention to what others think of us really just isn’t our business.

Blessings ~ Rosemary