February 15, 2024
“Let a need to love replace my need to understand.” From The Cloud of Unknowing
On this second day of Lent, the quotation that I sit with comes from the book Where Only Love Can Go: A Journey of the Soul into The Cloud of Unknowing (quite a title!). The introduction explains, “Sometime in the fourteenth century an anonymous young man, already versed in and committed to the basics of the spiritual life, found himself drawn to a ‘higher’ life of contemplation and became the recipient of some extraordinary advice from an equally anonymous spiritual director.” This small book is filled with excerpts of what this young man learned and practiced some six hundred years ago that helped him approach God more fully.
When I look at our world today, I see despair and fear in every form: wars, poverty, bigotry, divisiveness, anger, self-righteousness, greed, threats, censorship, and on and on. In the United States, we are so divided that it is almost impossible to have a civil conversation to help us understand each other. No one is willing to listen, yet everyone is ready to fight.
As dire as our political disunity is, though, I have learned one invaluable lesson. My reaction to those who see things differently tells me more about myself than about them. It tells me that I can become judgmental, defensive, and self-righteous myself. It also tells me that when I cannot understand, when I simply cannot wrap my head around another’s viewpoints and choices, I can still love. I can wonder what brought them to their beliefs, I can ask them how they are feeling right now, and I can ponder what my own strong reaction teaches me about myself. The God who I believe abides in me also abides in them.
When I consider the life of Jesus the Christ, I see a man who chose love first, every time. He didn’t need to understand sinners and outsiders to love them. Why else would he pray while dying brutally, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do”?
Perhaps the hardest instruction Jesus the Christ ever gave is to “Love your enemy.” To love doesn’t mean to condone. It doesn’t even mean to understand. It means to remember that we are all stamped with the image of the Divine, and then to respond from that reminder.
Imagine a world where we could set aside judgment to listen to others, and to ourselves, more deeply. What do our reactions tell us about ourselves? “Let a need to love replace my need to understand.” Difficult words for a very difficult time. Today is the day to begin to try to live them.
As always, I would enjoy hearing your thoughts, as well.
Blessings ~ Rosemary
Photo credit: Pixabay
Spirit Reflections 
Perhaps this is why Lent began this year on Valentine’s Day–the need to love.
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Thank you for your openness and honesty in your reflection, Rosemary. And such an important lesson and practice for us: loving without understanding. I have faced difficulty in loving, even naming the other in prayer is difficult. But when I do just this simple act, name in prayer, a tiny bit of me lets go each time; my heart begins to warm when it is cold. Blessings and peace to you🙏🫶.
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Heard this a long time ago and never forgot it:
”See with eyes of curiosity rather than judgement.” 🙏❤️
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That is a very wise quotation. Thanks for sharing. I will add it to my stack.
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Thanks, Chris, for sharing.
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Amen!
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Thank you so much Rosemary for today’s piece and for all you write! Your reflections are so worthwhile particularly for me right now as I am supposed to be leading a Lenten Study for our church using our Anglican Church of Canada’s PWRDF Lenten Resource – Climate and Health. And, though I am a very concerned person about the climate crisis, your reflections give so much more. I think if we do the deep reflective work it intersects with all injustice – be it climate, poverty, politics, racism. For instance, I was at a climate action webinar last Fall and one of the exercises we had to do is create an ad for protecting a natural resource and direct it to appeal to someone who is totally different from ourselves. To appeal to a part of that person we share something in common with. Basically, doing what you said today, ‘ponder our own shadow’, instead of coming from a position that ‘we know better’ than them.
Yes, LOVE must start right here, finding what we share in common, what we both embrace, and find common ground.
Thank you.
Now, I have a special request. May I share these reflections with the other people?(There are only 3 of us – not a lot of people were interested in the Climate – and Health theme). How do I do that?
Lastly, it was my dear friend Chris Magrega who put me onto you and every time I read something of yours, I give a special ‘spirit hug’ to Chris. I moved away from Vancouver a few years ago and she is a special treasure I miss.
Again, many thanks,
Gwen Ingham
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Thank you for this lovely reply! I am leading a class on Social Justice, and the idea of creating an ad that speaks to those who think differently is very compelling. I share your concern for the environment as well. You are always welcome to share anything I write because I don’t consider it “mine.” Hopefully, it comes from the Spirit. I don’t know how you can share my posts via WordPress, but you can give your friends the web address and they can subscribe. Or, you can just copy and paste the content. Again, thank you.
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